Tag Archives: Belief systems

What Role Do Beliefs Play in the Effectiveness of Healing Modalities?

puzzledThis is a question I’ve been pondering for many, many years. This is also on the mind of many of my clients, as they wonder how much their beliefs and/or intentions will either aid or hinder the effectiveness of the sessions they receive from me as well as how their beliefs and intentions affect their bodies and their healing processes. What if they don’t really believe in the effectiveness of these healing modalities, or they question the underlying theories? What if they can’t help but doubt? Does that mean it won’t work for them? Or will it work regardless of what they believe? The confusion is understandable, as we hear conflicting answers to this question. Some people claim it doesn’t matter what you believe; if it works, it works. Others say your intentions and beliefs actually create your reality and have everything to do with whether or not you heal. Others fall somewhere in the middle and/or just don’t know what to make of it all, although they acknowledge beliefs must play some kind of role (e.g., in the placebo effect).

I certainly don’t have all the answers, and this is still an open question for me. But, this morning I was pondering how sound healing works, as an example. Clearly, many people have experienced profound transformations through sound healing. Yet, as Jonathan Goldman (an expert in sound healing) often points out, the frequencies used to treat specific organs and energy centers vary greatly among different traditions, theories, and approaches. The theory of sound healing is based on the idea that we are vibratory beings (more specifically, that the entire universe is vibratory in nature, of which we are a part). So, these frequencies are said to aid the body in healing because they vibrate at the “healthy” frequency of the specified organ or energy center in human beings. As the person is exposed to this specific frequency, the energy center or organ then begins to resonate with the “healthy” sound, which leads to health in that particular organ or energy center. However, given this theory, how is it that two completely different frequencies can be used for the same organ or energy center and both seem to be effective in producing a healing or transformational experience (which is often the case)?

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Jonathan Goldman says that after a time of consternation over this issue, this answer came to him: frequency + intention = healing. He explains that not only is frequency a factor in healing, but the intention of the person offering the sound, as well as the intention and beliefs of the person receiving, is critical as well. This is why he believes different frequencies can be effective for the same energy center or organ, and also why some people notice benefits while others do not. This explanation still left me in a quandary, though, because I naturally started to think that this meant intention alone could explain the effectiveness of sound healing. After all, if we can use different frequencies and get the same results, and the only other factor involved (besides frequency) is intention/beliefs, then it seems that intention is the main factor in the effectiveness of sound healing, right? But, this didn’t sit right with me. What about the whole vibratory universe thing? What about the physics of how the universe (and thus the human body) seems to work? Shouldn’t that have an effect as well?

coinThat’s when I started to wonder… what if at least part of the confusion is a misconception that “frequency” and “intention/beliefs” are separable? What if, in fact, they are two sides of the same coin, so to speak? What if one does not (and cannot) exist without the other? This is what I’ve been pondering today. Perhaps part of the problem is that we think we can isolate “intention/beliefs” and then answer the question of how they (alone) affect healing. Perhaps the problem stems from this (mistaken) unspoken assumption in the question itself. If this is the case, then both frequency and intention/beliefs are factors in the healing/transformational effects of sound healing for the simple reason that they come as an inseparable package… they are two aspects of the same thing.

If this is true, I can see how, for instance, a frequency that may not be a perfect match for an organ’s “healthy” frequency could still be quite beneficial if the intention embedded in the frequency from both the giver and recipient were very coherent and strong. I could also see how a perfect match frequency-wise embedded with incoherent or even detrimental intentions/beliefs could be ineffective or even cause disruption. This would be because the total package being delivered to the person comes as a kind of net effect of both frequency and intention/beliefs (and probably a lot of other factors, by the way), and you cannot separate out one from the other. The separation is only a concept in our minds but does not represent the actual reality of what is being delivered.

This idea could then be extended to other approaches that support healing, such as nutrition, aromatherapy, structured water, Earthing products, or any of the healing modalities I practice. For instance, I recently have been experimenting kale 2with different nutritional approaches and actually became quite obsessed with “eating right.” I was approaching it from a fear-based perspective, and I can see now that my beliefs/intentions were in opposition to my health. Even though I was eating foods like veggies and such, I actually became less and less healthy physically. It became clear to me that my belief structures and intentions were affecting my ability to heal even though I was eating nutritious foods. (And, of course, there are probably other factors as well.) Yet, at the same time, imagine if I had approached eating with the same fear-based perspective but instead ate donuts and Doritos all day long. I would imagine that would have been even worse on my physical body because the nutritional and energetic content of the food does actually make a difference as well. Other factors related to intention would be how the food was grown, who was growing it and with what intention, who harvests the food and with what intentions, who handled the food on the way to the store, what the atmosphere was like in the store, etc. All of this, along with my own beliefs/intentions, combines into a complex package of what makes up that food and how it affects me.

As for healing modalities such as Polarity therapy (one of the modalities I practice), if this idea were true, then it would be quite important that I have knowledge of energy anatomy and know how to apply that knowledge practically to a person’s energetic system for the benefit of the overall physical functioning of the system. Concurrently, my intentions/beliefs as well as the intentions/beliefs of my client would also be critical. For my client, his or her intentions/beliefs would be important because the energetic dynamics of his or her system (how balanced is the flow, etc.) is not separate from the intentions and beliefs embedded in that system. And, since I (as the practitioner) am interacting directly with my client’s energetic field vibrationally, my intentions/beliefs as well as the overall coherency of my energetic system also have an impact on my client.

waterThese are my ponderings of late. What it comes down to for me in a practical sense is that all of these factors make a difference… my intentions, my beliefs, as well as the vibrational coherency of whatever I’m coming into contact with. Therefore, for example, it matters what foods I eat, and it also matters that I prepare and eat that food with love and gratitude. It matters whether or not the water I drink is structured, and it also matters whether or not I believe structured water has an effect on my health. It’s a “both/and” situation, not an “either/or” situation. That’s what I’m going with for now, anyway!

What do you think? Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear from you!

In love & gratitude,
Penny

What is the New Biology and How Does It Unify Conventional Medicine, Complementary Medicine, as Well as Spiritual Healing?

the biology of belief

Conventional medicine perceives of human biology as representing a physical mechanism that is shaped by its biochemistry and genes.  If there is dis-ease, the vision of repair would involve changing the physical parameters of the body, via surgery and drugs.  This process could work. However, with our limited awareness the effectiveness of allopathic medicine is also quite limited. And, based upon the statistics for iatrogenic deaths, those attributed to medical intervention, allopathic science is quite lethal!

Complementary medicine emphasizes the role of the environment and the energetic milieu in the regulation of life. Though it has been around for thousands of years longer than allopathic medicine, medical associations have consistently downplayed the effectiveness of such an approach because it does not conform with allopathic philosophy of how life works.  Yet, complementary approaches have proven their effectives, are profoundly safe and, in light of today’s new view of biology and physics…

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Suffering: It’s All Smoke & Mirrors – Part 1

RoosterKauai has lots of chickens.  Lots.  They’re everywhere.  The roosters like to crow.  It’s their job, and they do it well.  They do it all day long.  I’m not even sure how much they sleep because they even do it at 1 a.m.  It’s apparently a very important job.  Now, let’s just pretend one night I’m happily sleeping away, dreaming of angels and whatnot, and a rooster crows right outside my window at 3 a.m.  It is a piercing, startling sound.  How am I supposed to sleep now?  Intense irritation arises inside of me.  Why won’t that damn chicken just shut up?  He crows again.  And again.  And again.  He’s still right outside my window.  I am so angry now I decide to take matters into my own hands.  I run out the door, screaming and waving my arms like a mad woman, and chase the horrible little bird far away from my window.  Now I feel a little better.  That rooster sure got what was coming to him!

Let’s look at what just happened here.  What happened is pretty much a lot of nothing, except for suffering on my part and a startled chicken wondering about that crazy lady.  In my case, my suffering took the form of anger and irritation.  Let’s examine the very beginning of this incident.  What caused my irritation to arise?  Was it the chicken?  No, not really.  What caused my irritation to arise was an unconscious resistance to what was happening in that moment: a chicken was crowing for about one second outside my window.  Big deal.  But to me in that moment, it was a big deal, wasn’t it?  My reaction was automatic and unconscious, meaning I didn’t think it out like this: “Oh, a chicken just crowed, and it was loud.  I don’t like loud, piercing sounds.  I think I’ll get pissed now.”  No, I just got pissed automatically.  What was happening is some unconscious part of me thought it was not at all okay for a chicken to be crowing at 3 a.m. right outside my window.  That part of me then produced irritation in order to affect my behavior, in order to motivate me to do something about what I thought was the problem (the chicken).  Now, it felt like I had some measure of control over the situation. After all, I chased the chicken away, didn’t I?  Peace and quiet abounded (until the next chicken comes along, which is within the next minute or so).

But what if the irritation never arose in the first place?  What if I were perfectly happy with a rooster crowing right outside my window at 3 a.m.?  Then I wouldn’t have suffered at all, Eyeand neither would’ve the chicken I scared to death with my crazy arm waving, 3 a.m. madness.  There would have been no “problem” then, would there?  There would have just been a rooster crowing, and a happy woman in bed enjoying the rooster crowing.  What caused the problem was my unconscious resistance to what was happening.  In this case, that resistance (=suffering) took the form of irritation.  Do you see what that means?  It means I created the problem.  The rooster had nothing to do with it.

When you think of it like that, it becomes clear that the real problem — the suffering itself — is DCF 1.0phantom-like or not quite real.  I mean, it was real for me in that I suffered: I felt irritated, ran outside like a crazy woman, and scared a chicken.  But really what happened is I created a problem inside of myself (suffering) by resisting what was happening, scared a rooster who was just doing his duty as a rooster, and then finally came back to planet earth feeling quite accomplished because I had figured out a clever way to get rid of the problem… yup, the problem I just created myself.  It’s a whole bunch of hand-waving (literally) and quite exciting, but wouldn’t it have been nicer to just enjoy the rooster and go back to sleep?  No problem created.  No suffering created.  Happy me, happy rooster.

This is true for more than just irritation arising when a rooster crows.  This happens all the time.  Unconscious resistance arises whenever something happens in the world that we have learned to define as something that shouldn’t be happening.  It arises when whatever is happening doesn’t fit our concept of how things should be.  The range of this resistance is enormous… it goes all the way from slight disgust, such as when my hubby drools on my pillow yet again, to feeling horrified at the slaughter of millions in mass genocide.  In all cases, the problem for me is arising inside of myself — that is, I am creating my own suffering by resisting reality.  The reality is, for example, my hubby just drooled on my pillow and there is mass genocide taking place.  If I don’t think those things should be happening, resistance (=suffering) arises within me in various forms such as anger, sadness, despair, horror, etc.  A problem is created inside of me, and I suffer.  I’m not doing it consciously, but I am doing it.  The truth is, I would not suffer if I didn’t resist reality.

What most of us are doing is going around doing all sorts of things to try to get rid of “problems” we created inside ourselves.  We think that our horror and worry aBlue smokend disgust that arises when we witness something like mass genocide is actually caused by that circumstance, but that’s not true.  Those feelings arise due to our own resistance — due to the fact that we learned somewhere along the line that mass genocide shouldn’t happen (as an example).  We mistake those feelings as being caused by the outside circumstances, and so we do not know that when we take action to “help,” we are doing so primarily to relieve the discomfort — the suffering — inside of ourselves that we ourselves created.  It’s just like the chicken.  It’s an illusion — not quite a real problem — although it’s real to us in our suffering.  But it wouldn’t be real if we never resisted in the first place.  I’m not saying that mass genocide isn’t real or that we should simply put our feet up and let it happen.  I’m saying the problem inside of us would not be there if we didn’t resist.  We ourselves would not be suffering.

A couple questions might come to mind after pondering this:

  1. Where would my motivation to act in the world come from if I wasn’t motivated by a feeling that something should not be as it is? Why would I take action to change anything if I accept everything as it is? Sure, I’d be happy as a clam, but what about all those people out there being slaughtered in wars or otherwise enmeshed in horrific circumstances? Why would I care about doing anything to help them? Or on a more personal level, what if I have pain or disease in my body? Why would I want to do anything about that — to try to heal — if I just accepted it as it is?
  2. Okay. I can see how I am the one creating my own suffering. But how do I change my unconscious, automatic responses, the key words here being “unconscious” and “automatic”?

Good questions!  Stay tuned for Part 2 for my thoughts on this.  In the meantime, maybe the answers will come of their own accord as you watch yourself and notice what’s happening.Have fun noticing!

Aloha & peace,
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Depression/Bipolar Part 2 – What’s Working for Me

In Part 1 of this series (Depression/Bipolar Part 1 – Why Traditional Western Therapies Weren’t Enough for Me), I explained why the traditional western therapeutic approach to treating mood disorders (in my case, depression and/or bipolar II, depending on which psychiatrist you ask) wasn’t enough for me.  With the traditional approach, I was merely surviving, but not thriving.  In this post, I’d like to share what is working for me.  But before I go into that, I’d like to make clear that I don’t mean to imply that I am now happy at all times with never a moment of depression.  Yes, it’s true I can now say that I finally understand what it means to truly live and that I have experienced and continue to experience true joy, creativity, passion, gratitude, and love to depths I had never dreamed of before.  Yet, I still have times when I will sink into the depths of depression.  Even now, my mind sometimes falls into those old habitual thought patterns that have been engrained over the course of 35+ years.  These times are much less common and don’t last nearly as long, but they still happen.  So maybe it would be more accurate to say that the approach I’m about to describe is simply a process that I suspect won’t end at some final destination where I am eternally blissful in every moment of every day.  Perhaps that state of being is possible, but I’m not holding my breath.  My sister, who is the CEO of a small business, recently shared an insight which illustrates this idea.  She has been noticing that many young people fresh out of college have the expectation that they should be able to find a job in which they will be happy all the time.  She pointed out that this is simply an unrealistic expectation, and that no matter how much you love your job, not every day will be perfect.  There will be days when you wonder why you didn’t just stay in bed.  (My sister is wise.  That’s why I call her Yoda.)  The same is true for me with my mood.  I’m a work in progress.  Still, the approach I’m using now has been so life-changing and so much more effective than the traditional approach that I feel it’s worth sharing in hopes that it might resonate with some of you struggling with similar issues.

Everything started to change for me during my training in the therapy I now practice called Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy (BCST).  This training wasn’t your typical class.  It was organized into ten, five-day modules spread out over almost two years, which means there were about two months between each module in which to integrate what we experienced/learned into our everyday lives.  I quickly learned that in order to be an effective practitioner of this therapy, I needed to live the teachings myself.  To be honest, this was the only way I could prove to myself that this therapy really works.  I wasn’t going to practice a therapy based on someone else’s stories or just accept without question the underlying theories.  I needed first-hand experience.  And so I decided to dive in head first, allow myself to embrace the experience, and see where it led me.  It was over the course of those two years — with support through my group training and from individual BCST therapists — that I began to transform.  I discovered that the therapy I was learning to give to others was the key to addressing my own issues, most prominently the debilitating depression I had been living with since I was a young child.  Below is an explanation of the three main components that have been vital for me in this process.

  • Listening to my body with a perspective of appreciation.  One of the most important steps I took was to simply feel and listen to my body with curiosity and appreciation.  This is easier said than done, believe me.  To do this, I first had to let go of all the analysis about why I was depressed.  My teachers called this “letting go of the story.”  After many years of therapy, self-help books, and personal growth seminars, I could easily name all of my underlying belief systems which I was sure were contributing to my depression.  I could list my childhood traumas or talk about my parents until I was blue in the face.  Unfortunately, that approach was largely ineffective for me.  I also had to let go of the idea that there was something wrong with me that I had to battle and eliminate.  The key for me was a change in perspective from one of judgment and pathologizing to one of appreciation.  I began to recognize the incredible intelligence behind how I manage my experiences.  I realized that I had made it this far for good reason, and that whatever I had been doing worked.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t be around to debate it.  I’d be dead.  So with this perspective, I started to listen to my body in a way I never had before.  I let go of the story and started listening and looking for the intelligence in my system instead of the problems.   A whole new world opened up.  I was (and continue to be) amazed at the incredible intelligence at work behind my so-called detrimental “patterns” and “belief systems.”  Bit by bit, simply by listening to my body, I experienced more and more ah-ha moments where I realized certain patterns I had always hated in myself (e.g., shyness) are very intelligent responses to my particular life circumstances.  These reflexive patterns are how I managed and currently manage my experiences to survive and to fulfill specific vital needs — and they work.  This change of perspective was a huge key for me because my bind of self-hate was finally released.  Once I stopped fighting and hating myself, other possibilities I could not previously see began to open up.
  • Connecting to my underlying healing forces & who I really am.  One of the focuses of BCST is supporting the underlying intelligence/healing forces/healing ability of the body.  As a practitioner, I can actually feel these forces at work in the client’s body.  But in order to feel these forces in someone else, I needed to feel them in myself first.  And as I started listening to my own body with curiosity and appreciation, I started to palpably feel these forces at work within myself.  This connection to the underlying intelligence of my system led me to felt-sense connection to who I really am at a core level — the one underneath the depression — the one who could heal my own heart and mind.  I suppose some people might call this core level the “soul” or “spirit.”  Whatever you call it, this connection to that center of who I am somehow led me to the insight that I am the one with my own answers.  In fact, I am the only one with my own answers.  I have found that, for me, working with my depression is not about fighting it; rather, the work is about staying connected to my core or center.  For me, this is a tangible experience with incredible results.  The more I focus on staying connected with that core part myself rather than on fighting my depression, the more my state of being is one of joy, love, gratitude, beauty, creativity, and inspiration.
  • Surrounding myself with proper support.  The most critical part of this process for me has been having the right kind of support.  Basically, I need people around me who can recognize and reflect back to me who I really am at the core level.  In addition, these people all share the following crucial qualities:
  • They recognize that I am unique and complicated.  They know that what will work for me will be unique to me.  There are no cookie-cutter solutions.
  • They realize that I have my own answers.  They are not there to give me answers.  Instead, they support me in finding my own unique path to health.
  • They have a perspective of appreciation rather than pathologizing.  They are not interested in fixing me or making me better.
  • They trust and recognize the underlying intelligence at work in my system and know that they do not “know better” than that intelligence.
  • They trust my process and are neutral as to the outcome or results.
  • They can see who I really am at the core level.

Of course, many of these people were classmates in the BCST training, my teachers, or therapists who had done the training.  I have also found a few amazing friends who share these qualities.  Having these people in my life is vitally important because they can see through all of my crap to who I really am, even when I cannot.  Oftentimes, it is that reflection of my core self that helps bring me out of my states of despair and back to a connection with my center.  These people are rare, but they’re out there.

My hope is that some of you reading these posts might resonate with some of what I’ve shared of my own experiences.  If so, I’d encourage you to first find people to support you who have the qualities I listed above.  It’s easy to find all sorts of people who think they have your answers and want to fix you.  You might even feel like you need to be fixed!  But for me, the trick was to find those people who recognized that I have my own answers and know that the keys to my own healing are inside of me.  That is true empowerment.  That is how I learned to take real responsibility for my own health.

Aloha,

Penny

Depression/Bipolar Part 1 – Why Traditional Western Therapies Weren’t Enough for Me

You might think from the title that this post will be yet another rant from one of those woo-woo types who wants to rid the world of the evils of western medicine, particularly in regard to mood disorders such as depression or bipolar.  It’s true, my husband recently declared that I am officially now “one of those woo-woo people.”  Ah, well.  Even if I have crossed over into woo-woo land, I still like to think I can… well, think.  And the truth is that I have seen medications and good counseling save far too many lives to discount these treatments so easily.  I have one friend in particular who says that when she found the right medication to treat her mood disorder, she finally felt like she could be more of who she really is and at long last knew what it felt like to truly live.  Still, in my particular experience with depression (or bipolar II, as it was diagnosed by one psychiatrist), I found that medications and psychological talk therapy were not enough.  What does “not enough” mean?  Well, these treatments did help me to survive because they gave me enough of a boost to refrain from committing suicide (a real plus!).  But the truth is, I still felt directionless, hopeless, and without passion or vitality.  I could not see the beauty around me.  I did not feel gratitude for my life nor see a greater purpose.  I did not feel true joy, love, or inner peace.  I was surviving, but not thriving.  And so I knew I had to find another approach (in addition to all I was already doing) if I ever wanted my life to be about more than always struggling to keep my head just above the water so as not to drown.

Some of you might also be wondering why medications and talk therapy haven’t been enough for you.  Perhaps you might still have a glimmer of hope that there must be some way for you, too, to begin to thrive, not just survive.  In this post (Part 1 of 2), I’d like to share some of the reasons the typical western approach to treating mood disorders (diagnose, medicate, and support with psychological therapy) wasn’t the cure-all I’d hoped it would be for me.  In my next post (Depression/Bipolar Part 2 – What’s Working for Me), I’ll talk about what did work for me and why.

1.  Fight, Fight, Fight!!  Wait, who am I fighting again?  For me, a big component of my depression was self hate.  I suppose there are some people who are depressed and also love themselves unconditionally, but I would venture to say that would be a rare person.  Usually, there is some component of self loathing, even if it is just because we hate ourselves for not being able to just be happy already.  The way I was taught in therapy and support groups was to look at my depression as a disease, as something somehow separate from me which I had to battle and eliminate.  After all, if mood disorders are diseases like cancer, then we have to fight them!  That’s what we do to survive — fight and destroy!  But for me, seeing my depression as something to battle ended up backfiring.  This was because of that pesky self-hate component to my depression.  It turns out that “my depression” and “me” weren’t actually all that easy to separate.  In the end, all I succeeded in doing was beating myself into a bloody pulp (emotionally speaking).  You see, it turned out the battle I was fighting was with myself, not with some entity called “depression” lurking within me.  The truth is there was no such entity.  There was only me, a person experiencing depression.  All I was doing was heaping another dose of self hate on top of the large, steaming pile I’d already created.  This was one case where I had to stop fighting to win the battle.

2.  I’m complicated, thank you very much.  Seeing depression and other mood disorders as diseases also has another effect:  categorization.  The doctor needs to label your disease (give you a diagnosis) in order to prescribe the correct medications and provide the right kind of counseling to treat the disease.  I must say, I despised this process.  I did not want to be labeled.  Some part of me screamed inside that I am a unique individual, that what has gotten me to this point in my life is complicated and not so easily analyzable and medicated away.   I found the idea of being put into some sort of box called “depression” or “bipolar II” (as if that explains everything and can now be managed appropriately) to be wholly inadequate.  I am not a puzzle to be solved.  Where was the recognition of me, a real, live, complicated person?  This kind of recognition was missing in this whole process, and it turned out it was critical for my recovery.

3.  Medicate my troubles away. Not so much.  I want to emphasize again that medications are absolutely critical for some people.  Sometimes it comes down to life or death, literally.  My intent here is to share my experience, not convince anyone to take or not take medication.  With that said, I have found that for me, at least right now, medications just aren’t the answer.  Part of the issue, I admit, is that I have a real problem with the fact that we just don’t know much about what these things are doing to us.  As I said, we’re complicated.  These drugs do much more to us than help treat our mood disorders (as is evidenced by the numerous so-called side effects, which are actually just effects, of these medications).  But even more importantly, when I finally found the supposedly “right” drug combination according to my psychiatrist (after many horrendous wrong combinations), the effect was a numbing of my feelings.  I could not feel the lows anymore, but I also could not feel the joys.  To me, this wasn’t living.  I admit I could have tried more combinations.  But there came a point for me when I said to myself, “This isn’t worth it.  I need to do this another way.”  I knew deep inside this wasn’t the right path for me.

4.  Analyze, Analyze, Analyze!!  Wait, I’m dizzy.  Through approaches such as talk therapy, self-help & spiritual books, and personal growth seminars, I began to make all sorts of amazing discoveries about my underlying (and previously unconscious) belief systems.  I discovered what they were, where they came from, and why and how they contributed to my depression and every other aspect of my life.  This was transformative and really the beginning of finding my way back to the land of the living.  After all, awareness brings with it the opportunity for change.  But then I fell into what I lovingly refer to as the “self-help trap.”  (I must admit I still stumble into this trap more often than I’d like.)  Here’s how it goes:  1) I see a belief system in myself like “I’m not worthy” affecting my behavior and running my life.  2) I understand where it came from and that it “no longer serves me,” as all the self-help gurus so helpfully point out to me.  3) I nonetheless still behave/feel the same way, regardless of this awareness.  I don’t know why.  It’s stupid (I think).   4) I become disgusted with myself for behaving/feeling the same way yet again.  5) I beat myself into a bloody emotional pulp for doing the same damn thing over and over again.  6)  I feel depressed because I’ve just beat myself up AND I’m a self-help failure.  And down the rabbit hole I go.  This obviously doesn’t work for me.  I had to stop analyzing myself into a hole.

So where did all of this leave me?  Alive, but barely.  I certainly wouldn’t describe my state of being as truly living.  But hope springs eternal (at least on my good days)!  I thought there surely must be another approach that would work for me.  I couldn’t possibly be the only one thrashing about aimlessly in the self-help rabbit hole.  In my next post (Depression/Bipolar Part 2 – What’s Working for Me), I’ll delve into what actually did work for me.  Who knows?  Maybe it will work for you, too.  Stay tuned.

Aloha,

Penny